


The 4 People You Fall in Love With at Xmas

by Justmecjb



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 07:50:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16657162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justmecjb/pseuds/Justmecjb
Summary: The 4 People You Fall in Love With at Xmas... And the 1 that wishes you love them instead.





	1. The 4 People You Fall in Love With at Xmas

**Author's Note:**

> Unabashedly a 'holiday fic'.  
> 'Tis the season and all that jazz.

"This time for sure, right?"

Daehyun scowls. Youngjae could be a little more supportive. "Well, no one likes to be alone at Christmas." He looks pointedly at his best friend. 

"I'm 'alone' on Christmas all the time and I don't mind at all." Youngjae chirps annoyingly. He makes those air quotes as he says the word alone and Daehyun tries to ignore it.

Youngjae keeps right on talking. "In the past 4 years of knowing you, you've had a boyfriend every one of them. And every time, you guys don't even make it past the second week in January." 

_'What is with the expositional commentary?'_ Daehyun wonders. Getting even more annoyed at Youngjae as he reminds him of all the past dating failures he's had around what is supposed to be the most magical time of year. 

But Youngjae is right. Irritatingly right. He'd just started hanging out with Himchan after he'd found out the guy was newly single last week and already they were wearing couple Christmas sweaters and walking with peppermint hot chocolates and fingers entwined down decorated streets. Taking selcas in front of any Christmas tree snowflake or wreath decoration they could find and posting them on all their social media. Daehyun already had 20 posts in the last week of them doing the best couple things there is to do around the holidays. Drinking wine and cuddling while watching Netflix like half of them because Himchan liked himself a nice glass of wine or two. Giving Daehyun a new-found appreciation for the bitter richness of the red liquid.

"What are you doing tonight?" Youngjae managed to interrupt his thoughts even though he's become very good at tuning his friend out when he babbles on like this. "Let me guess. You're going to get drunk with Himchan and watch 'Love Actually' again for the hundredth time." Daehyun thinks maybe he can detect a note of jealousy in Youngjae's voice.

_'Well, if he wants to do fun Christmas stuff with a boyfriend of his own, he needs to put in more of an effort.'_

"At least he's better than Yungguk, I guess." Daehyun has to agree with Youngjae on that one. Yungguk had been his boyfriend 4 years ago. And in his defence, he'd been with Yungguk far earlier than just around the holidays. They'd started dating around the end of summer when Daehyun had been at a festival where Yungguk was one of the DJs. And he'd met Youngjae in management class that September, so Youngjae doesn't even know anything. 

"Yeah, he was boring." Daehyun admits. "He didn't even want to do anything on Christmas Day. Christmas fucking day. Just sit inside and work on his mixing and whatever. Which I would have been fine with if he'd at least taken a break to drink cocoa with me and watch something. Anything. Hell, the fireplace channel would have been enough." He realizes his voice is getting louder and more high-pitched but he can't help but rant. Even thinking now about the time he feels he wasted on that boring old lump gets him all wound up. He snaps his head toward Youngjae with a glare when he hears the other guy laugh. 

"You guys didn't even make it to New Years." Youngjae is laughing pretty hard. If people hadn't been looking at them before from his mini blow-up, they sure were now. He grabs Youngjae's forearm and squeezes roughly. 

"Dude. Everyone is staring at us. Well, you and your psychopathic laugh."

Youngjae settles to a softer chuckle then takes a deep breath in what seems like an effort to calm himself. He barks out a couple more guffaws then shrugs his arm out of Daehyun's grip. "At least we got to go out partying that New Years. Man, that night was awesome." He pauses a moment then quickly tacks on: "What I can remember of it."

Daehyun knows he's just trying to cover his ass. They both know that New Year's Eve 4 years ago was something they both don't want to discuss. And if Youngjae wants to feign ignorance, Daehyun is quite fine just letting him do so. 

Daehyun looks away from Youngjae's face and around the cafe. It was in a place like this where he'd met Junhong. Actually the same line of coffee shop. The kind that's on almost every street corner and have almost the exact same layout. So he can imagine for a moment that Junhong is standing there behind the counter as he looks over. Really it's two girls. One with a short bob and large, thick glasses. The other has a tiny face behind large bangs and her hair pulled up into a high ponytail. But somehow they look like the same exact person in their white collard shirts and black aprons. Now Junhong, Junhong had been one of a kind. Tall and lean with a unique face and infectious smile, the kid had a way of making everyone fall for his charm. That may have been why he was allowed to have his hair dyed a silvery-grey in a job where even a lighter brown than natural black was prohibited. And why Daehyun had fallen head-over-heals in love with him the first day he'd seen Junhong working in the cafe he often stopped at on his way home from class. He could have guessed the guy was young but in his defence, he would never have thought this giant with the sometimes very soulful eyes could have been a minor. 

They'd immediately started dating and at the time, Daehyun couldn't believe his luck. The guy that everyone seemed to be crushing on, the guy who could have anyone he wanted to wether man or woman, chose him. And he'd been so enamoured and zealous, that Junhong's age had never come up. That is, until Junhong had to turn down going to the club with him and Youngjae on New Year's Eve. 

'Hyung, I'm only 17.' He'd said it as if he was reminding Daehyun of what he already knew. But Daehyun had most certainly not known that and Junhong had been let down as nicely as possible the very next day. Youngjae had almost died laughing when he'd finally got the truth out of Daehyun a couple weeks later. 

He doesn't know if Junhong still works at that coffee shop since he hasn't been able to show his face there in the past two years. He knows it won't be so bad now that Junhong isn't a minor anymore. But in Daehyun's mind, it will always be one of the most embarrassing points in his life. Pedo-Dayhyun. He's assuming all the other employees and frequenters of that cafe are all still thinking the name that Youngjae had so affectionately called him for months afterward.

He looks down into his ceramic coffee cup and swirls the small amount of dark liquid resting at the bottom. He realizes that Youngjae has been very uncharacteristically quiet for two long. It's actually quite nice.

"So have you talked to Jungup these days?" There it was. Youngjae has probably been sitting on that question all afternoon. It's a valid question coming from Youngjae. Maybe he really isn't okay with being alone at the holidays. But to mention Jungup? Daehyun thought they were past that.

"Not for a couple of weeks. How about you?" Daehyun guesses that Youngjae keeps in touch with Jungup much more often. Considering how much Youngjae seems to like the guy. But Youngjae has never taken his sloppy-seconds, so he's sure there's nothing serious going on there. 

"Yeah. Well, he texted me just now actually. 'Where you at?' You don't want to hang out with him though, right?"

Another good question. It's not like they still don't hang out. The 3 of them during the past year. Or sometimes just he and Jungup whenever they've both been drunk and horny. Though, only a few of those times have been while they're sober. It's usually very awkward otherwise. 

He smiles at Youngjae what he hopes looks very indifferent. "Hey, if you want to invite your boyfriend," 'boyfriend' earns him a hard punch in the shoulder and he laughs. "I'd rather just spend some alone time, just me and my little buddy." He continues to tease Youngjae. He knows Youngjae likes it. 

Youngjae snuffles out a chuckle and looks away with a roll of his eyes. "Thanks for gracing me with your company."

"Hey. Just get a real boyfriend and you guys can hang out with me and Himchan all the time. You won't have to feel like a lightbulb." Daehyun suggests for at least not the first time. He knows he's constantly repeating himself, but it would be easier if Youngjae did just start dating someone. Not Jungup. 

That way they could do all kinds of coupley things together. Carolling in the winter, hiking in the spring, camping in summer and antiquing in the fall. Maybe Himchan knows someone for Youngjae. He makes a mental note to ask him later.

Youngjae sighs. "You just don't get it. I'm fine being single." He gets up and Daehyun follows his lead. "I don't need a man to complete me." He waggles a finger in mid air and purses his lips. They both giggle like schoolgirls and drop their mugs on the counter before exiting the cafe with a jingle of the wreath against the door.


	2. New year's

_...God, Daehyun. I love you. I fucking love you..._

_...I fucking love you. You know that, right?.._

_...I've waited so long for this..._

_...Daehyun..._

_...Daehyun, I fucking love you..._

_...I love you..._

Youngjae keeps trying to clear his head and yet a minute later this whispered dialogue pops on through in a fuzzy-edged, distant haze of pseudo-memory he's tried to tell himself isn't actually real.

It's not real but it keeps nagging at his subconscious whenever he's tired, out-of-it, or just has had too much to drink. This is one of those times. Oh, the last one. 

Himchan and Daehyun have invited him over for a small, very small, New Years get-together. Just them, him about 20 bottles of red wine... and this guy. He can't even say it's a new guy since they've met before. 

4 or 5 bottles in and still almost 2 hours left to go before the big "ball drop", Daehyun and Himchan are making out all teeth and tongues in their matching Micky Mouse sweaters, Jaebum has started making something random from the few ingredients in Himchan's fridge and Youngjae is texting Jongup. Telling him how torturously lame this party has gotten. And oh yeah: _Why can't you be here right now?_  
_I wasn't invited._ Oh. Yeah. 

Daehyun fucks around with Jongup whenever he's bored but never has with him. Just another cruelty of life, Youngjae guesses. Another whole pile of shit he's had to deal with over the past year. Watching the guy he's had a crush on for 4 years string along a guy that he kinda-sorta likes but is nothing in comparison to the former. And even though Daehyun now has Himchan, he still can't go for Jongup because imagine those double dates. 

This night's only upside has been the copious amount of free alcohol. One wine blending into the next into the next and Himchan thinking he's so fancy but after the first couple of bottles it all tastes like getting wasted and Daehyun is the first to slur this out. Himchan chuckling condescendingly. 

Youngjae turns away from the pair entwined on the beige, suede sofa and away from the performance of someone famous, he can't pinpoint who, on TV. Finally resting eyes on that guy, Jaebum, cooking in the confined space of Himchan's kitchen. Whatever he's making is honestly smelling pretty good. Akin to budae jjigae. The richness of meat and sharpness of cabbage filling his nostrils enough to make him want to stand. Or maybe that's the desire to get away from the couple that are making out only 2 feet away from him. 

He pockets his fone, he'll need it in case Jongup texts back, and swaggers over to where Jaebum is standing, stirring the soup. He runs his hands along Jaebum's sides in attempt to grab the other guy's hips and pull him close up against his body. But Jaebum twitches away from him and he backs up a step or two. 

"What are you doing?" Jaebum doesn't look at him. Only reaches forward to turn the burner off.  
Youngjae mentally asks himself that question but disabled with the assistance of so much wine, he has to think really, really hard. And that's just not working for him right now. "They're... I'm just... Why can't we just..." He's always thought he was more articulate than that. 

Jaebum looks in his eyes then away again in either exasperation or shyness. "It a really small world, I guess." 

He's right though. Last time they'd hung out, they were both closeted. Middle school, their dance crew, everything seemed so far away. And yet, here they are, occupying the same space once again. He dizzily swaggers over to Jaebum. "Let's make it smaller."

 

***

 

"Daebum.. Oh fuck, yeah." Had he just mumbled their names together?

_...Daehyun I love you...  
...I've wanted this..._

Youngjae is nuts-deep inside Jaebum, his old friend who he hadn't, before this night, thought enough about to wonder if the guy had been gay back in the day. He's trying to fuck Daehyun out of his system. Trying to get any good fuck in there since its been ages. Hoping to prove that Daehyun and Jongup aren't the only 2 people that exist in his desires. He's trying, and failing.

_...I love you...  
...fucking love you..._

Does he really remember sticking his dick into Daehyun's slicked-up hole with dominance? Like finally he'd gotten his ultimate goal realized. Present-him is not so sure. Even messed-up present-Youngjae can't connect the reality to fantasy. It still could be only what he's always wanted manifested into a dream. 

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." Jaebum arches underneath him in an angle that throws off his rhythm and pulls him away from the thoughts swirling around in his alcohol-muddled mind. He looks down in time to see Jaebum's eyes squinched tight and stomach tighten. Small splurts of clear-white jizz flying out over his own hand and torso. 

Youngjae closes his eyes again and fucks Jaebum through it. Panting and chanting in his head. 

_...Daehyun..._  
...Daehyun...  
...Daehyun...  
...I fucking love... 

 

***

 

In the morning he realizes that he's sure they didn't make it till the New Years countdown. Jaebum is sleeping naked beside him in Himchan's bed and he, himself, is wide awake at what Himchan's clock radio indicates: 7:30. Am he's guessing. Who owns a clock radio anymore?

He's naked too but doesn't want to be. He doesn't particularly like being in the same house with both the random he's just fucked and the guy he's been crushing on for like, forever. 

When he finds his clothes, he finds his fone. Message icon displayed in the upper left corner. Jongup? After opening the message app he finds 4 new messages from the guy. The first one jokingly asking if he can crash the party. The second one wondering if Youngjae is "still there". The third and fourth, Youngjae isn't sure are meant for him or someone else or as a joke but were sent at 4am. Both offering the recipient the best cock-sucking of his life worded with many spelling and grammar errors. Youngjae snickers quietly even though he's confused and continues dressing. He's wide-awake and it's weird. Maybe he'll pay for it later with a hangover that finally catches up to him but for now, he needs to get the fuck away from here. 

He makes his way quietly out of the bedroom and past the couple entwined too close together on the sofa. He grabs his coat along the way. The door beeping closed behind him a signal of relief. 

He can still hear the faint echo of his and Daehyun's voices mingled from that night those few years ago, but now it keeps getting interrupted by Jaebum's soft whining and his face the way it looks in pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was defiantly inspired by their "celeb bros" episode.
> 
> I hope this got you in the holiday spirit. Haha


End file.
